CANDY FROM STRANGERS: HELLVIS’S HALLOWEEN TOP THIRTEEN TUNES
October 27th 2006 05:00
With Halloween approaching in the night with all the haste of a ninja (or some really fast monster lizard) I thought it appropriate to post up my Unlucky Top Thirteen list of Halloween tunes. Halloween songs need to be dark and chilling but also kinda fun, to keep the party festivities going and to ensure that all the ghouls and ghosts keep shaking their ectoplasmic asses. The songs should also preferably be about some kind of monster, but not the kind on Metallica’s St Anger album, cuz that album sucks balls through a picket fence.
So here it is, my Unlucky Top Thirteen Halloween Songs to listen to while you bob for apples with razor blades and take candy from strangers.
1) Black Sabbath: “Black Sabbath”
from Black Sabbath (1970; Warner Brothers)
What Halloween would be complete without Ozzy and the boys? This, the self-titled opening track from their self-titled debut album (which was released on Friday 13 by the way) is one dark and foreboding little number. From the first crack of thunder, the sound of pouring rain, and the tolling bells; you know this tune is gonna be good: a murky and menacing trudger with Ozzy in fine wailing form. There’s nothing else quite as doomy on the Sabs debut but this tune put many minds in a metal mood, and is the perfect way to get your Halloween off to a rockin’ start.
2) The Cramps: “Goo Goo Muck”
from Psychedelic Jungle (1981; Capitol)
It’s Halloween every night when you’re the Cramps, but even though they appeal to the gothic set, Lux Interior and Poison Ivy are all about fun rockabilly mayhem. This is plenty spooky, with vibrato all over the guitars and Lux Interior coming off all Vincent Price and whooping it up like a loon in the outro. The tune is about a teenage cannibal, with plenty of the usual Cramps innuendo. Best lyric: ‘I’m the night head hunter, lookin’ for some head’ The Cramps never fail to put a bit of sex in your Halloween, with all the subtlety of a Carry On… film.
3) Man Or Astro-Man?: “Invasion of the Dragon Men”
from Is it… Man Or Astro-Man? (1993; Estrus)
Man Or Astro-Man? have come a long way from their days of standard issue instrumental surf rock spiced up with samples from ‘50s science fiction tv shows and movies. But their early records are still a trick-or-treat bag-full o’ fun, and this song is no exception. The opening and closing proclamations from Drako, King of the Dragon Men would get this track in the list regardless, but they bookend a smokin’ surf tune with all the darkness that the genre can muster, which is impressive considering surf music is supposed to accompany dudes totally hangin’ ten and chicks in bikinis go-go dancing.
4) Fantomas: “Spider Baby”
from The Director’s Cut (2001; Ipecac)
I could’ve picked the theme to Rosemary’s Baby or The Omen or any number of tracks from Fantomas’s second album; made up mostly of horror movie music reworked in their schizophrenic avant-metal style. But the fact is, none are as fun as this: a cover of the theme to the ‘60s horror-comedy cult film starring Lon Chaney Jr. There’s plenty of ghostly backing vocals, theremin wails, sinister handclaps, and evil laughs to keep up the fright-factor; and the lyrics to ‘the maddest story ever told’ are really somethin’ else. Example: ‘Frankenstein, Dracula, and even the Mummy / are sure to end up in someone’s tummy.’
5) Ramones: “Pet Sematary”
from Brain Drain (1989; Sire)
Who the hell spells cemetery like that? America of course, and nothing’s more American than the Ramones. They’re another band who have the horror oozing outta their eyesockets like so much fake slime, and any one of their albums is sure to throw up a few hair-raising ditties for your All Hallow’s Eve festivities. But I couldn’t resist this, the theme song to Pet Sematary. Stephen King loves the Ramones, and so should you. This has a haunting minor key melody, lovely harmonies, and even synths. On paper it doesn’t sound like the Ramones we know and love, but the spirit of the ‘broth-ahs’ still haunts this hook-filled tune.
6) Mighty Mighty Bosstones: “Devil’s Night Out”
from Devil’s Night Out (1990; Taang!)
Not since the Specials’ “Ghost Town” have ska and Halloween made better bedfellows. This title track from the Bosstones debut album doesn’t have the spook factor of “Ghost Town” but that song was more about the violence in the English punk scene than any real spectres. This party anthem more than makes up for any lack of scares with its thrashing guitar; alternating hardcore metal and horny skankin’ breakdowns; and lyrics about how much of a party animal Satan is: delivered in Dicky Barrett’s gruff bark. Best lyric: ‘The band was so hot, my beer got warm.’
7) Blue Oyster Cult: “(Don’t Fear) The Reaper”
from Agents Of Fortune (1976; CBS)
While BOC are mostly known for their balls-out biker rockin’, they’re also known for this song that is ostensibly about suicide. I prefer to think of it as a song about a fictitious character called the grim reaper, cuz it’s Halloween and I don’t want the thought of actual self-inflicted death messin’ up my rockin’ good time. This has a fiery and sinister bit in the middle, and the rest is comprised of a gorgeous minor key jangly guitar riff, a beautiful Byrdsy melody, and clanking cowbell. And both you and I know that there ain’t nothin’ scarier than cowbell.
8) Misfits: “Halloween”
from Legacy Of Brutality (1985; Plan 9/Caroline)
Like the Cramps, almost any Misfits song will do for a Halloween party and it’s always handy to have a couple of their albums lying around to keep the creepy shenanigans going on. Still, I chose this tune because it sounds like it was recorded in a dungeon, rendering the punk guitar about as melodic as a vacuum cleaner. But it still showcases Danzig’s big Elvis-meets-Jim Morrison croon and is as catchy and reminiscent of the ‘50s as any of their early material. Plus, it’s about Halloween and will get the little dead kids tearing up your living room in a pint-sized circle-pit.
9) Outkast (Featuring Kelis): “Dracula’s Wedding”
from Speakerboxxx/The Love Below (2003; Arista)
It’s been a pretty rockin’ night so far, so how’s about a little urban flava to change things up? What better way to get the boys wet and the girls hard than to play this tune from Andre 3000’s Love Below half of the band’s split-double opus. “Dracula’s Wedding” is a great electro-funky tune with Andre sharin' Dracula's view of romance in his best high Prince-voice. He’s basically saying that the only thing that makes Dracula scared is a woman, which is sweet and kinda true (take it from me, I’m an ancient demon of rock and still get nervous around the ladies).
10) Deadbolt: “Twang Zombie”
from Tiki Man (1994; Headhunter)
Sure, Deadbolt are probably the best gothic surf band around, and the guys have a great sense of humour and trash aesthetic to rival their progenitors, the Cramps. But as funny as these guys are, they play surf rock in such an icy cold way that you can’t help but get chills down your spine. This track features some of their most beautifully liquid and eerie guitar playing with lyrics about a murderous zombie drifter. They don’t call themselves ‘The Scariest Band in the World’ for nothin’.
11) New York Dolls: “Frankenstein”
from New York Dolls (1973; Mercury)
Seeming as everyone’s in costume, why not add a bit of cross-dressing glam from New York’s sleeziest Stone-via-Stooges miscreants. It’s better than anything from the Rocky Horror Picture Show, that’s for sure. “Frankenstein” is a massive stomper which is kinda fitting for its subject matter isn’t it? Like “Goo Goo Muck and “Dracula’s Wedding”, this explores the monster's prowling as a metaphor for a dude's search for lovin', and you’ve gotta love David Johansen droning, ‘Dooo yooo thiiink thaaat / yooo cooould maaake iiit / wiiith Fraaaankeeensteeeiiin?’ at the end of the song in his sneering New York accent.
12) Barry Adamson: “Jazz Devil”
from As Above So Below (1998; Mute)
Barry Adamson’s cinematic As Above So Below album relates this smooth cat’s descent into hell and subsequent ascent into heaven: apparently a metaphor for his experiences during hip surgery. It’s a great concept album full of jazzy noir and James Bond intrigue. And Barry’s descent into Hotel Hades is documented wonderfully in this swingin’ late-night jazz number about the trials and tribulations of the Jazz Devil: agent 00666. It’s sexy and dark in a way that only the Moss Side Tory can provide, with cool Hammond-infused verses and a big brassy chorus.
13) The Birthday Party: “Release The Bats”
from Junkyard (1982; Shock)
'Rowrrr, BITE!' Before Nick Cave was a lounge-lizardy cross between Leonard Cohen and Tom Waits, he was a mad bastard with finger-in-a-light-socket hair and a band of incredibly malevolent miscreants to back up his shrieking taunts. “Release The Bats” has Tracy Pew’s trademark stripshow bass playing, some stinging Roland S. Howard guitar, and Nick screaming about ‘cool machines’, ‘horror bats’ and ‘sex vampires’. The perfect way to close off your night of Halloween fun and send your more squeamish guests off into the clutches of night.
***
IMAGES
Black Sabbath*
Psychedelic Jungle*
Is It…Man Or Astro-man?*
The Director’s Cut*
Brain Drain*
Devil’s Night Out*
Agents Of Fortune*
Legacy Of Brutality*
utkast-speakerboxx-lovebelow.jpg" target="_blank">Speakerboxxx/The Love Below*
Tiki Man*
New York Dolls*
As Above So Below*
Junkyard*
(album covers used under fair dealing)
* images on this page were taken from the following Wikipedia and All Music Guide pages:
Black Sabbath
Psychedelic Jungle
Is It... Man Or Astro-man?
The Director’s Cut
Brain Drain
Devil’s Night Out
Agents Of Fortune
Legacy Of Brutality
Speakerboxxx/The Love Below
Tiki Man
New York Dolls
As Above So Below
Junkyard
So here it is, my Unlucky Top Thirteen Halloween Songs to listen to while you bob for apples with razor blades and take candy from strangers.
1) Black Sabbath: “Black Sabbath”
from Black Sabbath (1970; Warner Brothers)
Black Sabbath (1970)
2) The Cramps: “Goo Goo Muck”
from Psychedelic Jungle (1981; Capitol)
Psychedelic Jungle (1981)
3) Man Or Astro-Man?: “Invasion of the Dragon Men”
from Is it… Man Or Astro-Man? (1993; Estrus)
Is It... Man Or Astro-man? (1993)
4) Fantomas: “Spider Baby”
from The Director’s Cut (2001; Ipecac)
The Director's Cut (2001)
5) Ramones: “Pet Sematary”
from Brain Drain (1989; Sire)
Brain Drain (1989)
6) Mighty Mighty Bosstones: “Devil’s Night Out”
from Devil’s Night Out (1990; Taang!)
Devil's Night Out (1990)
7) Blue Oyster Cult: “(Don’t Fear) The Reaper”
from Agents Of Fortune (1976; CBS)
Agents Of Fortune (1976)
8) Misfits: “Halloween”
from Legacy Of Brutality (1985; Plan 9/Caroline)
Legacy Of Brutality (1985)
9) Outkast (Featuring Kelis): “Dracula’s Wedding”
from Speakerboxxx/The Love Below (2003; Arista)
Speakerboxxx/The Love Below (2003)
10) Deadbolt: “Twang Zombie”
from Tiki Man (1994; Headhunter)
Tiki Man (1994)
11) New York Dolls: “Frankenstein”
from New York Dolls (1973; Mercury)
New York Dolls (1973)
12) Barry Adamson: “Jazz Devil”
from As Above So Below (1998; Mute)
As Above So Below (1998)
13) The Birthday Party: “Release The Bats”
from Junkyard (1982; Shock)
Junkyard (1982)
***
IMAGES
Black Sabbath*
Psychedelic Jungle*
Is It…Man Or Astro-man?*
The Director’s Cut*
Brain Drain*
Devil’s Night Out*
Agents Of Fortune*
Legacy Of Brutality*
utkast-speakerboxx-lovebelow.jpg" target="_blank">Speakerboxxx/The Love Below*
Tiki Man*
New York Dolls*
As Above So Below*
Junkyard*
(album covers used under fair dealing)
* images on this page were taken from the following Wikipedia and All Music Guide pages:
Black Sabbath
Psychedelic Jungle
Is It... Man Or Astro-man?
The Director’s Cut
Brain Drain
Devil’s Night Out
Agents Of Fortune
Legacy Of Brutality
Speakerboxxx/The Love Below
Tiki Man
New York Dolls
As Above So Below
Junkyard
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Comment by Ragin Cajun
Observer's Post
Death By Myopia
Comment by Hellvis
Earache Hotel
Speaking of werewolves, and London, "Werewolves of London" by Warren Zevon would make a good addition too.