WHISTLE WHILE YOU WORK? WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHUT UP?
October 14th 2006 03:06
You'd be driven to staring at a wall like an old biddy with a broken spirit too, if you had to listen to whistling all day
What I hate is tradesmen, magistrates, shop assistants, newsagents, cricket captains, green grocers, lawyers, astronauts, tax accountants, South American revolutionaries, florists, foreign diplomats, animators, service station attendents, super heroes, crane operators, secretaries, Buddhist priests, or just about anyone who isn’t a dwarf whistling while they work. Scratch that, whistling while they do ANYTHING.
My mum’s cat swats you in the face with its fat paw every time you whistle near it. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: I’m with the cat on this one. I don’t know much about the Kyoto Protocol but I’m pretty sure anything that inspires kung fu from pets is not good for the environment.
I suppose there have been some great songs that have used whistling: Here’s a list of the one's I can think of:
- “Patience” Guns ‘n’ Roses
- “Winds of Change” Scorpions
- “Joyride” Roxette
Not exactly huge is it? Or particularly good for that matter. If you can think of some better ones, please fill me in (but mention that "Love Generation" song and I will weep).
Look, whistling casually while you are fixing my plumbing or waiting for me to sign for the package you just delivered is creepy, okay. Unless you’re a dwarf, in which case you've already used up all your creepy points anyway just by being a dwarf, so anything you do afterwards is just gratuitous. Whistling as if life is so peachy fucking keen and you don’t have a care in the world is the sort of thing a serial killer would do while injecting hydrochloric acid into your ears; a sensation not unlike listening to the whistling in the bloody first place.
Are you a whistler? If so, why don't you shut up? If you're not a whistler, how do you feel about whistling in general?
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IMAGES
Whistler's Mother*
(photo released into public domain)
* images on this page were taken from the following Wikipedia page:
Whistler’s Mother
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Comment by Homer Joyce
What a classic: tying in the picture of Whister's Mother.
I'm with your cat.
Stephen Lang (who wasn't the brightest kid at school - not many other kids came to school without any eyebrows after putting an aresol can in the incerator and wanting to watch closely as it blew up), obviously didn't like whistling either. He would pinch someone's nipple as hard as he could, and say, "Now try and whistle."
It wouldn't surprise me if he became a serial killer.
Homer.
Comment by Hellvis
Earache Hotel
I would create my own rules for this game, opting to punch the assailant in the face insted of submitting to the whistling option. This generally ceased the nipple-torture, but resulted in much beating about my body with fists and feet: something I much preferred to having my nipples pinched, or listening to whistling--even if it was my own.
But yes, I think you're right. There may be a very distinct link between this kind of sadistic behaviour and the propensity for whistling.
Comment by Homer Joyce
I forgot to mention the park ranger in Skippy the Bush Kangaroo ...
If you can't do your job properly, using a gum leaf to whistle up a kangaroo to come and rescue you isn't really going to help ...
Homer ...
Comment by Hellvis
Earache Hotel
After doing some Googling on serial killers I found out that Ed Gein (inspiration for Norman Bates and Leatherface in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre) was known for the 'nipple belt' he used to wear while dancing in the moonlight. He no doubt created this ghastly item after torturing his victims with a sadistic game of 'whistle or you lose 'em.'
The plot thickens (as does the hollandaise sauce: I'd better go and keep an eye on the stove).
Comment by Nina
Comment by Hellvis
Earache Hotel
Personally I don't mind tone deaf singers, in fact some of my favourites couldn't find a tune if it bit them on the ass (which tunes often do, you've gotta watch 'em with that).
Still, I'd rather have my tone deaf singers captured on CD so I can turn them off when I want to, than have them bothering me when I'm trying to buy 250grams of TV Week at the Supermarket.